Lessons from 40+ years

A year ago, I shared this on instagram and it seemed to resonate with a lot of people, so I thought it might be worthwhile to give it a more permanent home.

Today is my 41st birthday. In our ageist world, I feel like I’m supposed to be embarrassed or sad or panicked about that, but I’m not. I’m ok with 41, even though it means I’m now older than a lot of my colleagues and peers. I like where I’m at in life right now.

Here are a few bits of wisdom that have changed my life, in no particular order:

• accept people where they are, not where you want them to be.
• move your body because it feels good and for no other reason. You never need to “earn” food and your body is perfect as it is right now.
• the question isn’t “do they like me?”, it’s “do I like them?”
• Lots of things in life (and life in general) are long games. You don’t need to decide or sort everything out right now.
• be the person you want your kids to grow up to be, even when they are not looking. If this feels impossible, fake it as much as you can until it becomes a reality.
• recognize what you can control and what you can’t. The things you can’t control, write them down and let the universe take care of them.
• it’s better to show up imperfectly than not at all. Invite people to your messy house. Be your socially awkward self and go anyway.
• therapy is great and important, but I really think that the best thing I’ve done for my mental health is hire someone to clean my house on a regular basis. (Also switching to a flexible work schedule.)
• When someone does something that means something to you, tell them. Too many people feel invisible (me included.) Let them know you see them.
• A person can be great and cool and lovely but if your body and mind don’t feel good around them, they are not for you. Same goes for clothes, things, situations, workplaces….
• practice being ok with being lonely. It’s a skill you’ll use a lot in your life, especially if you move around a lot and are an introvert.
• other people’s successes are not your failure.
• be honest with yourself about your privilege and power in the world. You can work hard & struggle and also acknowledge that you were enormously lucky in the life you were born into.
• if you think 40 is old, remember that you probably still have more working years ahead of you than behind you