Endings and beginnings: A half year note

It was a slippery slope from weeknotes to bi-weekly notes to Monthnotes to ... whatever this is. After a while I'd let things slide so much that it felt too daunting to pick up again. I like how my weeknoting pal Sam frames her weeknotes as seasons and episodes - perhaps I'm beginning the new season of weeknotes.

(I'm going to borrow Sam's format since I can't remember my usual structure and I'm too lazy to look it up.)

What happened?

Lots of work things have happened since my last whatevernote.

• An ending: Starting in January, some really meaningful and impactful research work I did on clinical documentation wrapped up, or rather our research phase wrapped up and the momentum and next steps slowly unravelled until it was down to a microscopic thread that a few of us are still gently hanging onto, hoping it won't break. Such an important project, an incredible cross-organizational team and some amazing conversations with patients, caregivers and healthcare providers that I'll never forget. I'm hopeful it will go somewhere one day, maybe I'll even share it here.
• Another ending: Around that time, my manager and his lovely family left on a sabbatical. Shortly after that, Sanjali, the other designer left on our team, moved on as well (and Caleigh left in the fall) so our lovely design team of 4 suddenly became one. I've worked across many teams and many managers so shifts like this aren't new to me but this one stung - one of the best teams I've worked it. (miss you guys, sniff)
• Beginning, ending, beginning: I wasn't alone for long - I was immediately re-orged to Marlieke's team. That lasted for a hot minute before I was re-orged again. (That means I've been re-orged 5 times in the past year. Oy.)
• (Short aside: Marlieke has a new blog post series on administrative truths, recommend checking it out)
• A beginning and an ending: I started a really meaningful, impactful project that involved working with vulnerable communities and collaborating across government teams, with a tiny team of three wonderful humans, and a wider team of more wonderful humans. Total dream project. Then it was postponed (I hope.)
• A beginning: Then I moved to another project around life events and the journey of becoming a parent. I'm not sure how much I can share about it but I think I can say this: it's fast-paced, wide in focus (currently) and high profile. I get to work with designers I've admired from afar. The work is interesting, the team is great, there are bumps along the way of course, that's normal. It's early days but with so much change I can't help thinking about how this will also end one day (or at least my time on it will.) But right now we're in the beginning, and when things come together, that beginning phase is an exciting place to be.

Endings to beginnings: Lots of personal things happened in my life too. My family structure changed. I moved house. I went from owning to renting (tbh a huge relief, but requires actively restructuring the mental model that I've gone backward in life.) I've found myself with lots of free time on some days, while others have become busier than ever, with chaos and joy in equal parts. My daughter finished primary/elementary school, we celebrated but also WTF she is a baby!? It's been a time of transformation and shaky ground, both the good and the hard, the kind of change that divides life into a before and after. I've added all of this to our already busy life of adventures and travel and day to day activities, so it's been hectic. Moving forward has been good and necessary, but some calm after the storm would also be nice.

What was good?

Everything. Even in hard moments I've always been able to seek out joy and I'm grateful for that.

What was hard?

Everything. But I suppose that's the price we pay for growth.

What else?

As you can tell, I've been reflecting a lot on the ending of things. Re-orgs, projects that wind down or get postponed, team changes and departures, shifting routines, new spaces. We are good at recognizing some of these endings (it's why we throw farewell parties for staff) but it's surprising how often we fail to recognize, acknowledge or sometimes even notice when other things wind down - work, projects, teams, relationships, habits, interests (Joe MacLeod gave a talk about this to our design community a few years ago.)

Anyway, all of these endings can carry weight, they can be grieved and felt deeply, consciously or not. Perhaps I've been away because I've been feeling all of that.

Or.... maybe it's just because I've been tired. Moving is hard!