Monthnote: May 2025

Photo by bckfwd / Unsplash

🗓️ What happened

I worked on some health-related projects: I made small progress on some of my ongoing projects, including re-scoping one stream of work into something more impactful and interesting and running a couple of user research interviews. Then I got looped into one very urgent, very interesting, very impactful and patient-focused project that turned out to be not as urgent as we thought (but still very interesting, and impactful.) That took up a lot of my time for a week and a half. I tried to push a bit on other projects that I think should be more urgent than they are, but I didn't get far.
I worked on some side projects: Some much needed x-gov design capability-building work has suddenly started gaining momentum, thanks mostly to our new-ish Design leader Network, expertly and impressively led by my colleague Marlieke. I've also been exploring how to build awareness of design and research in our ministry and sector.
Related, I organized a health sector design exchange which went pretty well. I think I spent way too much time prepping this check in activity, but it made me happy and the attendees seemed to enjoy it.

Check in activity for a workshop - you are welcome to borrow it!

I found out I've been selected to speak at SDinGov again which is such an honour and very exciting for me. I'm also signed up for another speaking opportunity, more details about that when available.
I talked briefly about decolonising design with Nicole, Clara, Eloise and Anni - such a wonderful conversation that I've been meaning to have for ages.
After our re-org, my new ADM (Assistant deputy minister, aka one of the top bosses) opened his calendar for 15 minute chats with anyone - I immediately set one up - my small attempt at being bold and building higher level awareness for service design where I work.
My wonderful executive coaching sessions came to an end :( I had a really great experience with this, it was like therapy but more practical and impactful (though I also think therapy is important)
I caught up with many people and had some really insightful and impactful conversations
I did two weeks of solo parenting while also looking after my mum's dog.

✅ What went well

I've felt like I'm gaining some momentum on a few pieces of work
I've had a very slight uptick of confidence in myself lately - I don't know why or what has shifted, but I'll take it. One hypothesis: my coaching sessions (along with some honest conversations with people in my design sphere) have somewhat changed the story I tell myself about who I am. For example, I often view myself as someone who's a bit quiet and docile among people above me in the hierarchy, but my coach pointed out that booking time with my ADM to pitch design is not docile, it's bold.
I've also felt a bit more focused and determined, particularly with regards to delivering side projects and community stuff. I think this may be a result of seeing others pick up pieces of this work and make things happen which is inspiring and energizing for me. I think I'd given a bit too much into hopelessness lately, feeling like nothing will change unless I do it myself but not having the time or energy to do it myself. Seeing others pick things up had been a big motivator.

⚠️ What was difficult

I felt like I've lost momentum on a few pieces of work
I've been feeling the effects of what is perhaps low awareness of what I do and what service design/user research is about. For example: I'm starting to see that senior executives are having conversations with program areas that I am tasked with researching, and these conversations cover the kinds of topics that I would be exploring in a research interview. But people see this as a 'chat' rather than 'research' so I'm not invited; Instead, I have to try to understand the 'insights' through second-hand de-briefs and I'm not able to do followup research because we don't want to over-engage. In one case, a leader I was working closely with ran a whole survey without letting me know, and since they were lacking the time (and perhaps understanding?) to do the analysis and reporting back, those results just sat there for months going nowhere. It's frustrating knowing I could have done something to move it forward, but (I assume) that person didn't realize that surveys are a part of what I specialize in, just like others didn't realize that a 'chat' is actually a form of research. Or perhaps it's a case of leaders not trusting someone lower level to take the lead on that work, which is a bigger issue altogether. I always ask teams when I start working with them if they have any questions about what a service designer does and they all no questions, they understand what it is. But it's clear that I need to be doing more up front to build that understanding and define the roles and tasks that I expect to take on.
I've been feeling frustrated by the reactive nature of some work I end up doing– which often looks like weeks or months of little or no direction on a specific project/problem, then suddenly rushing around to pull it together because some senior exec asked for a briefing. I'm trying to think of ways to counteract that but I wonder if it might be an ingrained part of the culture.
Plus a few more instances this month of creating user artifacts without talking to actual users (the reasons are understandable and complicated but also ... it's not great)
A truly beloved colleague left government recently, and I get the sense that a few others are struggling. Feeling like I want to support them but don't really know how.
Ive been sitting on some blog posts that I really want to publish but just can't bring myself to for some reason. I keep revisiting and feeling like something is missing, or my thoughts aren't organized enough - what Tash called 'over-egging' in a comment recently. Mostly I worry about getting in trouble for being controversial - It hasn't happened yet but sometimes I get a weird vibe that makes me feel like I might.
Generally feeling overwhelmed and stretched– there's never enough time in the day!– but I'm starting to think that's just the norm now

👀 Good things you should read

What’s a good design team anyway?

I’ve been a head of design since March, working on several GOV.UK products and channels: app, chat, pay, notify, forms, emergency alerts. I’m having a lot of fun but there’s a lot to adjust to and to make sense of. The job is largely about building a…

📖 📺🎧 Other stuff

My reading has really slowed down lately but I read a couple of books in May: The Heart in Winter by Kevin Berry was quite good, as was What Does It Feel Like by Sophie Kinsella (verrrrrrry different from her usual rom com)
I watched the The Handmaid's Tale as it wrapped up- I thought the ending was decent, but the show had gotten a bit sloppy the last few seasons (how does June cross borders and entire continents so easily!?) so I'm not overly disappointed
I highly recommend this absolutely shocking podcast episode: America's Working Homeless from What We Spend. They shared a statistic that seems too outrageous to be true: There is no county or city in the United States where a full-time minimum-wage worker can afford a two-bedroom apartment.

🗓️ What happened

✅ What went well

⚠️ What was difficult

👀 Good things you should read

📖 📺🎧 Other stuff

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